More odds than ends

Last books I read all the way through: Everybody Poops, The Potty Book for Boys, The Sesame Street Potty Book...see a pattern? Oh, and The Dinosaur in My Backyard.

Other recent reads: I do recommend picking up Finn by John Clinch. A pretty curious piece of speculative fiction that gets into who Pa Finn might have been and what could have led him to be such an awful person. While it seems like a bit of a gimmick to use the frame of an American classic as a hook to sell your pitch to a publisher, it really was a nicely written story. Also, shows the Widow Douglas as a bit of a schemer. And you meet Huck's mom too.

The other book I've been reading is Bruce Fieler's Abraham. He's the Walking the Bible guy. Interesting look at the origins of the way Abraham is interpreted, past and present, by Judaism, Christianity and Islam. If you've read it, I'd be curious to hear your comments.

Found the location of one more furniture store to check out. Amanda and I have what we need but would like to start finding some things we can take with us when we finish langauge school. Lots of particle board stuff is available here and lots of buggy wood but not too much high quality hardwood. I hear tell that some nearby cities are known for their furniture or that we can have what we want made. Maybe later, once we have a bit more control of the language, I'll try.

Charlotte, @'s spider friend, is not poisonous. She's a pretty laid back bannana spider. If I'd known her species, I would have named her Chaquita.

Mini buses stop running here around dusk. And I thought our 8:30 shutoff time in Africa was bad. No taxies in this town, either. The horse carts and pedal power are available whenever needed.

Our hotwater heater is fuelled by a little propane gas tank. Apparently it only kicks on if there's a certain amount of water pressure. For Amanda, there was enough pressure to shower last night but not enough to kick on the heater.

Eating the breeze is not an idiom that is used here. What else has Lonely Planet been lying to me about?

Chocolate bread is my stress food. I haven't had to rely on Toblerones too much yet.

I tried Pepsi Blue. It tastes the same as regular Pepsi only it comes in this CSI-Miami color. It, or the Apple Fanta, changed the color of my poop. I have not tried the Pepsi Gold yet.

I communicate with text messenger over my cell phone more than any other way. I'm not good at it but it's cheaper than using voice.

Language class is much more fun when you get the teacher into a laughing fit.

Life is hard but good. I don't remember being this exhausted in Africa with the exception of my first week or so in Turkana. But that was because it was 120 degrees out and my only fan had blades that were four inches across and was battery opperated. And there we could nap in the middle of the afternoon.

Index cards do not exist in this city.

Neither does a good Italian restaurant. Scratch good, it should read "Neither does an Italian restaurant."

Practice is important for language learning but so is down time. I need time to process.

I think I need a Kevin Moon party. Maybe we should all meet in Darwin or Bali or even Chaing Mai?

Only 6 years, 8 months and five days until we climb Kilimanjaro. Ideally I'd like to reach the peak on my birthday at the exact moment I first saw the world. Who's with me? Pete? Ben? Dad? Jake? Phil Stowers?

Eating the breeze

Just randomness. Skim at will.

Fun phrases: Sleeping policemen - speedbumps
Eating the breeze - out and about
English key - Adjustable wrench

I apparently only (or at least am most likely to) snore after an evening of writing.

In africa, I nearly bought a copy of Newsweek with Walter Mondale on it simply because it was in English and uncensored. Here I can't even find ancient American magazines for sale.

But there are arcades/fun zones about every other block.

Projects from this weekend: Get old-fashioned key unstuck from the keyhole where it had been jammed. Completed kitchen light cabinet that will hopefully stop spices and sugar from clumping/going bad too quickly. Wired another to use in our wardrobe to prevent clothes from going bad. Moved in new filing cabinet, office chairs, ladder, drying rack, pillow and bolsters. Really used the new drill.

Heard a sermon from yet another German named Marcus - we knew one in Africa too.

Not a criticism, just an observation: We may be the least reserved people in the country. Maybe the four Australians we know are close but most of the Americans we've met seem like they were pilgrims fleeing from the Charleston library because it was simply too loud.

In language class, I am that student I was in highschool. I want to do well but when I get frustrated I return to sarcasm. Or I attempt to distract/stall until the bell (in this case a bird call) rings.

Here we switch teachers, not classrooms for subject changes.

I "quest" as an excuse to wander. It's a good way to get to know the city. It starts out looking for the practical - things like tools and groceries, maybe furniture. But the searches gradually builds to the less likely like "low water use, massaging shower head with multiple speed settings" or the always ellusive "where can I buy a euphonium?" By the time I get to that last one, I'll probably be accentless and totally fluent. I've got the tools and groceries and at least some of the furniture so I think I may look for a baseball bat and gloves next.

Pottytraining is not fun. @ recently tried to change his own diaper (twice) during his nap. The first was mildly successful, resulting in him using all but one of his wipes but not quite able to put the fresh diaper on. He left the expended diaper on his dresser. He was found asleep and britchless, clutching his clean diaper. The second attempt was a bit more...messy.

On the plus side, sheets wash and we have tiles on all the floors. He's slowly getting closer to that day when the bulk of our carry-on space will not be taken up by disposables. Then the bulk of our carry-on space will be taken up by snack and toys and games and books...

There is noone I enjoy toiling through life with more than my wife. It seems like everyday we get to that point where we can't help but laugh. The fact that every Saturday night, we lose water. That the electrity goes out just when we've finally gotten @ to sleep and we can get some uninterupted work done. That in the process of trying to "fix" the hotwater heater, I realize I don't remember if the "on" switch is supposed to be up or down.

I want to own a couch where the whole family can sit and watch a movie.

I love that we brought a portable dvd player with us. Sure, the computer would also work but this is much easier to take away to our room or put out for @ while we make dinner. Arrested Development has been my cultural closet I can hide away in. One season is already through. Thanks Pete and Janet! (To show that I am not a completely irresponsible parent, @ is not allowed to watch Arrested Development. At least not until we watch it first.)

Amanda is sure that @'s new best friend, the spider that lives in our front "yard" that he calls Charlotte, is not poisonous. Amanda may be right but if you live in a jungle, everything is poisonous. Right?!?

I used the local ATM the otherday and realized that Amanda and I are finally multimillionaires. Related: I have finally broken past that problematic 16.5 stone weight area. At this rate I should be no more than a pebble or two by Christmas. Oh, never try to convert your weight to milligrams. It makes you feel really bloated.

I don't know who is in the Final Four but would watch it if we could.

Should be homeworking

Amanda and I have started language classes and while I should be journaling my day in the local language, I need to process a bit. (I figure I can't pour anymore in until I pour some out.)

So here are some random experiences/thoughts from the other day:

I thought I saw a trolley on Monday, only to hear honking moments later. The bus had managed to snag a low hanging phone line and pulled it half a block before the bus stopped. The driver got out, unsnagged it, pedestrians moved it off the road, and the journey continued.

Had a great language lesson on the minibus Tuesday. Some kids got on with a Spiderman comic book. They taught as I pointed to Dr. Octopus and other villians. I think they tried to teach me the word for "webslinger."

I have one major project I've been attempting but with no success - a light cabinet. Because of the humidity here, people put a five watt lightbulb in the their warddrobes, spice cabinets or whatever they want to make a bit drier. The light stays on all the time and dries the space without creating too much of a firehazzard. The problem is, how do you explain what four or five parts you need from a hardware store when you have none of the language? I'll try again today.

The most terrifying part of language class comes at the end when we are expected to roleplay without a script. My language ability is squarely in between the abilities of my two classmates - one has already been using a tutor for a month or two and the other is still jetlagged with three kids and is in the process of moving to a less infested house. Stagefright has never been one of my favorite things.

We've had our semiautomatic washing machine for less than three weeks and already the spinner doesn't work. This is a fact that the houseworker has known about for sometime but didn't mention it. Or if she did, it was somehow lost in translation. The repairman will come out today (he was supposed to yesterday).

For at least the next 17 days, I am taking morning classes while Amanda meets in the afternoon. We see eachother for breakfast and in the evenings. Lunch will consist of us exchanging important information like if the washing machine got fixed, if @ pooped in potty, or if water got delivered. If I walk home, that gives us about fifteen minutes to talk. Not cool since we're used to spending about 16 hours a day together.

I was excited the other day when at language orientation they expalined that "next we will introduce our power tools." Come to find out what they meant was a poster showing how to ask questions in the "local langauge" (a phrase from here on out to be abbreviated however I feel like next time I use it.

I had my first motorbike experience yesterday. One of my teachers lives near here and he gave me a lift home. I want one! But we agree with our friends that we won't be making any vehicle purchases until we have enough language to talk ourselves through an accident.

But I think I'm sort of enjoying this. It'll be better once @ is pottytrained. And I can spend more time exploring with my wife. And we learn the language. And we're out of the rainy season. And the roof gets fixed...

Random Thoughts of life here

Just some things that have popped into my head since arriving here on The Island:

We have a pink plastic bathroom door that has a red "occupied" indicator when you close it and a green one when it's available. I think it may have been salvaged from the short-lived Virginia Slims airline from the 1970s. We've come a long way baby.

They sell Pepsi Blue. I haven't tried it but will. On a related note, soda always tastes better from a glass bottle.

It is hot - like Florida hot - but totally liveable with a fan and a cool washdown.

Within days of arriving in a new country, I almost always feel more at home than I do while in the US. I love Singapore but could never afford to live there.

I think our houseworker ironed my underwear yesterday. I don't have enough language to tell her to stop.

I once again am Yonatan or Yonathan.

My wife is in rare form when has a goal - like putting together a house. Amazingly talented woman.

Our new favorite store is Jimmy's. No sign out front of this ordinary house. In the livingroom are things like Dr. Pepper and cereal and Maple Syrup - whatever expats like most.

Price Check:
Bus to downtown - .30
Double bacon cheeseburger - $2.50 (Note: Must find out where they sell bacon.)
One game of Time Crises II or Dance Dance Revolution - .30
Hotel in Singapore when nothing else is available - $175
Cost of a better room at the YMCA - Under $100
Spaghetti with chicken on top - .90
Nerf Hoop and ball at Subway - Free with a Kid's meal
Mini multi-tool - 2.00 after gift certs. from Singapore Air

We live in a neighborhood cut from the jungle. It feels a lot like the Grandma and Granpa Bunkers home in Venice, Fl that started out on the edge of the swamp only to end up in the middle of the subdivision.

Got a couple of dinner invites already. Odd that a person we spent a summer with in Africa has been a bit more standoffish.

Am looking forward to walking to language school with my wife in the mornings. Maybe we'll hold hands or I'll offer to carry her books.

I really look forward to learning to ride a scooter/cycle. I may get a bike once I have a better feel for the rules of the road and see if I can buy a bike helmet for my big noggin.

I'm reading Finn by John Clinch - a story of Huck's dad. I think I'll be recommending it but no call yet.

Oh, I need to find out if there's an English book store in town. But a bookshelf is first.

Amanda video messengered with her mom today over the internet. It was a bit like talking to the space shuttle but you can't beat the price - only the cost of our internet service. Who else has a web cam? (Mom or dad - you'll have one coming sometime soon. Pete can show you how to work it.)

We've fallen into the rut of using our African when we don't have the local word for things. We still use Italian to say goodbye.

Lots more thoughts but enough for now.

Things int'l travel and hospitals have in common

Before you leave:
You never know exactly what to pack or how to dress.
Sure, pack reading material or work from the office but know you won't get to it.
All your expectations will be wrong.
Despite great scheduling on your part, once you get out of the car all bets are off.
As simple as the procedure is supposed to be, you make sure your will and house are in order.
You hear a lot of "we'll be praying for you."
Lots of paper work. Pull out the plastic. Try to remember dates and numbers that you need for no other occasion but this one.
Excuses: Can I afford it, does this really have to be done now, by you?

During:
You're told to get some rest only to have the lights turned on, be poked, prodded or fed every few hours.
You can't use your cell phone until it's over.
Rarely does your sleep pattern and the person's next to you match up.
Light-headed, nausea or general groggyness is part of the deal.
The light is anything but natural.
Do I talk to the person next to me or keep quite.
Meals come with limited choices.
You rarely eat everything on your tray. It looks better than it tastes and could probably use more salt and sugar.
There is never enough butter or jam.
Catsup is only offered with breakfast.
Silverware is just a bit wonky - too flat, too small or just oddly shaped. Sometimes there are sporks involved.
Not everyone you encounter will end up in the same place. But everyone will end up somewhere.
The batteries for your electronic devices won't last long enough and there is no place to charge them.
The music isn't your choice.
The people waiting on you look prettier at the beginning of their shift than at the end.
Bumps.
Parts of your backside fall asleep when the rest of you isn't.
You weren't sure how to dress but by the look of everyone else you see, neither did they.
Getting up to use the bathroom involves calculation, timing, some help and a bit of luck.
Entertainment is temporary.
How long things are supposed to take and how long they do take are two different things.
Nothing is in your control.

After:
The world looks different, bighter, louder, busier.
You have to relearn to walk.
There is an odd taste in your mouth.
More paperwork.
People are happy to see you but aren't sure how to hug you.
You can't carry your own bag.
There is a change in perspective that can't quite be pinned down but that you don't want to risk losing too quickly.
As long as you can walk away, it was at least somewhat successful.
People can relate but few will truly understand what it was really like.
You are thankful it is over.

Who is out there?

I've done something I'll likely regret. I've removed the "bloggers only" feature on my comments. But there's a reason:

I have a map that shows me the general locations of where people are viewing me from but not who is looking. And I know that there are some of you who probably don't have blog accounts. Like many of you, I don't comment very often on the blogs that I read, even those I read daily. But I really have no idea who is reading this. So...

If you're reading this, please comment.
1. Let me know who you are.
2. Tell me where you are (Some of my map dots really run together).
3. Tell me how often you check this blog.
4. Optional: Come up with a better name for this blog than the current one.

I hope this didn't sound too weird.

More books

Consider this more of a personal post-it note.

A character in Ngugi wa Thiong'o's The Wizard of the Crow thinks we should read:

Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta

Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga

So Long a Letter by Mariam Ba

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

Fault Lines by Meena Alexander

Women Writing in India, We Were Making History by Susi Tharu

I can't confirm it but I think a couple of those names were either made up or invented when someone dropped their latte on their keyboard.

Another List

The following is another top ten literature list - this one compiled by J. Peder Zane. He had 125 living authors come up with their top ten and then, using statistical analysis came up with the following:

1. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
2. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
4. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
7. The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
8. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
9. The Stories of Anton Chekhov by Anton Chekhov
10. Middlemarch by George Eliot

What bothers me most is not what is included on the list but how little of it I've read. I know I've read three of them, maybe as many as four - didn't I have to read Middlemarch while in college?

Thankfully, no Ulysses.

Beyond Mondo

Following Amanda's lead, here is my list of "things for the future I'd really like to do, some of which seem beyond me while others might really be possible" - also known as my Mondo Beyondo List:

1. Be down to 210lbs by Christmas 2007.
Beyondo: Reach the middle range for my optimal weight - somewhere around 175.
2. Be proficient enough in our new language to be able to teach basic ESL.
Beyondo: Be able to read the next Harry Potter book in the new language.
3. Begin playing a brass instrument again.
Beyondo: Relearn to sightread both the bass and treble clef.
4. Climb either Mt. Kenya or Kilimanjaro for my 40th birthday. (Only 7 years to train! Anyone want to join me?)
Beyondo: Climb/hike a major mountain on each continent other than Antarctica.
5. Purchase a gift for my wife that will make her cry.
Beyondo: Actually surprise my wife with the above-mentioned gift.
6. Learn to ride a motorcycle.
Beyondo: Not get in a motorcycle accident or cause serious injury to myself or others.
7. Eat tofu...by choice.
Beyondo: Order and enjoy squid, octopus or any organ-based dish at a restaurant.

More to be added as they come to me.

Sad

First Jim, now the Cowboys. Is anyone not let down?

Citizen Jonathan

As I was getting the newspaper this morning I heard the rather disturbing sound of a smoke alarm going off in the distance. Somewhere there was that shrill, piercing noise that can only mean that somebody burned popcorn or boiled water.

So in an act of heroic thoughtfulness, I came back inside. (Don't worry, I didn't stay there.) I tracked down my slippers, woke my wife, got my coat and grabbed my keys. Because every hero needs a dorky sidekick or, in this case, a sexy partner in stretch leather, a cape and boots, Amanda set out with me in the wet morning to find the source of this noise.

Together we narrowed it down to not coming from any of the apartments in our complex. It sounded like it was coming from the neighborhood beyond our back wall, which was out of view. Resolved that we couldn't see or smell smoke and that we really didn't know what to tell the fire department if we did call 911 (no idea what the name of the street behind us is), we were ready to give up. Until...

I realized the sound was actually coming from the apartment complex's dumpster. Sitting on top was a mound of replaced smoke detectors. No one had taken the batteries out of them when they got upgraded to smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. I guess the rain shorted one of them out, thus the shrill noise. Battery removed, we went back in for breakfast.

Daily heroic duty accomplished.

Kevin Moon Party??

I feel like it really should happen since we got a Christmas card from the man himself. Johnny D had suggested it but I don't think anyone was able to coordinate things in time to have it done before Christmas (Or we were snubbed). So let's set a date now.

How about mid or late January? People will have recovered from the holiday rush. Amanda and I will still be around (although possibly relocated to my folks' house in Lexington). Location? If we really wanted to take it to the extreme we could do it on location - Starved Rock, for instance? Or someother resort where we might be able to get off-season rates for those who'd like to spend the night? Depending on when Kess and Jen start school in Iowa, I think a Friday/Saturday might be best for them. Other schedule issues/preferences? Time?

Let's see if we can't get this nailed down by the new year.

Oh, and if you are reading this and have even the foggiest notion of who Kevin Moon is, you're invited.

Christmas Card Revelations

One of the great parts of (Amanda) sending out something like 200 Christmas cards is what we learn from the responses. We get the usual family letters where you get the sentence or two about each of the two-legged members - and often the four-legged members as well. The photos quickly found their way to fridge. Amanda and @ have strung the first wave of cards and they will soon decorate the windows. But there are also the suprises.

We found out that someone we've always sent cards to has been dead for three years.

Someone else responded that they've gotten cards from us twice but don't really know who we are.

Phil, yes Phil, now has a beautiful blonde toddler. To my dissappointment her name doesn't rhyme with either Phil or Jill. (First Jo and Joe crush my hopes, now this). Umm, I know I've been out of the loop but she looks like she'll be entering college soon. They grow up so fast...

It's great hearing about new jobs and growing families and life. I think I'm a bit desparate to cling to this normality since we'll likely be spending Christmas in 90 degree heat next year.

New name???

Every few years I find myself searching for, or getting, a new name. I was Jon-Jon when I was little. I took on the short-lived Bob in gradeschool. Juan (say it quickly along with my last name and you may get the sixth grade quality joke) was ironed on to a souvenir t-shirt. In college I took on the more "adult" Jonathan. Kenya, I was Ekai meaning "house," due to my relational size. A certain significant someone who just turned 30 would occasionally simply refer to me as Boy. @ started out calling me something sounding a lot like Doggie. In our last permanent home I was Mr. Yonatan. And now it is time for yet another change.

But not for me.

I need a new name for this blog. Geographically, it won't make sense soon. I need something not bound by location. Unique, but not so much that it looks like I'm trying too hard. Easy to remember. Short. Normal spelling. No punctuation. Somehow connected to who I am but without offering too many incriminating details.

Suggestions???

America's Most Influential 100

I just love lists! And with this one, I'll admit, I'm all but clueless. How does a person really guage influence on American culture? Sure, at this moment, in some aspect(s) of American life, in some geographic areas, based on some particular worldviews, this might true. But then again, it might not.

In addition to the usual questions of whether the order is right, or if certain people should/shouldn't be included on the list, what I'd really be curious to hear is how high up the list does your cultural intelligence reach? At what number do you admit "I've heard that name but couldn't really tell you for sure who that is"? (For me, it's #36.) And at what number do you just respond "Who?" (#69).

Given the lack of comments I've seen recently, maybe I should tag some of those of you who have been around a bit: Josh, Johnny D, Barry (of course), Just Pete and anyone else who'd like to chime in.

Lessons from the Amazing Race

As travel junkies, Amanda and I have really loved watching the Amazing Race. The stunts, the exotic locals, the food, the chance to meet new people...

And though I'm hardly a novice when it comes to travel, the Race shows that I must be doing something wrong. So I've come up with some Travel Truths gleaned from The Amazing Race:

No one ever looks gross after a twelve-hour flight - except for Rob and that's because he's apparently lost his razor.

Even after eating cowlips, no one even gets traveler's diarrhea. Or even has to use the bathroom during the entire length of the race.

Jetlag is a myth.

There are no beggars in other countries.

Getting through customs is simple.

Police officers in other countries are always nice and sometimes even let you follow them to your destination.

No one ever asks for a bribe.

It is perfiectly safe to drop your backpacks anywhere along the streets while running to your destination.

People always love Americans.

You can always find two seats together even when you manage to get the last seats on an airplane.

Powerbars are available everywhere.

Bottled water is available everywhere.

There are no ridiculously long lines in airports.

You can ignore dress codes, lines, social customs and basic manners as long as you wear a sports bra.

(Am I missing some?)

Now that I know the above, travel will be much easier.

Where I've been in the US

I found this map generator the other day. I figure posting it on the web will have to do until I either get a camper or the nerve to have it tatooed on my back.

In mourning...again

We just got news that another friend is being asked to leave Elsewhere. This friend has spent the last five decades teaching, working with orphans, leading girl scouts and giving of herself to a country that has given her less than a week to leave.

Put this in perspective: Imagine a parent or grandparent (she is in her seventies) being uprooted from their friends and family. Posessions accumulated since the 1960s have to be sorted through and discarded unless they are small enough to fit in one of a few suitcases. Hundreds of goodbyes will have to remain unsaid because there simply isn't enough time. Every meal will be with loved ones and there still won't be enough time. (And there hasn't been a shipment of good food imports in months anyway). Favorite places will have to remain unvisited because even if there was time, the permits to travel would never be granted. "This will be the last time I..." echoes. Absolute exhaustion hits even before getting on the plane. Tears will have to wait until Germany when the flight over the Atlantic will start. Sure, the move will be to a place where the language is understood but will never really be home.

I guess what hurts most is that there is simply nothing I can do to help solve the problems going on there.

PS - I just found out that another friend, born in Elsewhere but now an American, has been imprisoned since Oct. 4. He has two children and an American wife who are both currently in the US.

One step forward...

For the last several weeks, I have been writing. A lot. That thesis that should have been finished nearly a decade ago is progressing and regressing at remarkable speeds. Some days I will write nearly three hours worth of material, only to edit it down by a third. And while I realize I shouldn't be so self-critical, it's tough not to when I reread errors in logic or see that the rabbit chase I just went on really has nothing to do with Ngugi - the subject of my research.

At the same time, I'm really enjoying it. The ideas, too topic-specific to bore you with here, are stretching me. They are also spilling over to my own feelings of Elsewhere and Africa as a whole. I find myself moving back and forth from a "western culture is horrible" to "yeah, but not everything/one who travels to Africa is negative".

This, and hearing about some of our friends being kicked out of Elsewhere, has really crept into my dreams. I'm in one of those phases where I wake up sometimes more mentally and emotionally exhausted than when I went to bed. But it's a good kind of exhaustion. It's usually cathartic and sometimes even valuable for my paper. This can spur me on a bit to actually want to write more. What this also means is that I can't spend quite as much time with @ as I'd like to.

The boy is really becoming quite fun. He pottied using his chair for the first time the other day. He's developing a real sense of humor. He is finally using some basic sentences - even if his vocabulary is a combination of real and his own words (he doesn't use "farm," but "EIO" and "I'm sorry" is conveyed by stroking to arm of whomever he hurt and repeating "nice"). Hopefully, I'll have my work finished by Thanksgiving so I can spend some American time with him.

We're still looking at a move to Asia in late January.

A favorite place

This is one of my favorite places on Eastern's campus. It's a silly sculpture and I can only imagine how much it cost. But I like it.