Best first lines

I've just been doing some prep work for the writing class that I'm teaching this semester and thought I'd share it with you:

The 100 Best First Lines from Novels

Unless I overlooked it on the list somewhere, my favorite seems to be missing:
“I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice – not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother’s death, but because he is the reason I believe in God; I am a Christian because of Owen Meany.” In John Irvings's A Prayer for Owen Meany.

But what strikes me most about the list is not how few of these books that I have read but how few I have even heard of. Sure, most of the authors are familiar but I probably haven't read a third of these. I feel so uncultured!

Because otherwise I'd cry

Over Christmas I graded over 100 papers concerning popular culture, the American Dream, Individualism and work ethics. Some were good. The rest contained things like this:

J Lo's goal was to become a multiasking superstar.

Despite all of his success, he hasn't become swollen.

Donald Trump believes that 'faster is weller.'

We all must have good work hobbits.

After failing several times, Pitt never got up.

If you don't know how to wok, you won't be able to eat.

Benjamin Button joined a battle on a thug boat.

There are many massages we can see in this film.

This is my "Illogical Perspective" paper.

Differences make life tasty.

Jennifer Hudon beat up hundreds of other competitors for the roll.

Madonna moved from Michigan to America so she have the American dream.

And then I just gave up writing them down...

If Pavlov had a sound machine

Starting in college I began using a sound machine when I slept. Sometimes it was the ocean playing on a cd and set to repeat all night. While in the States a few years ago, the people we lived with let us use a shmantzy one in our little basement apartment. Everyone in their family used one. Then when @ was born, we got a separate machine that played a variety of soothing sounds like tropical rain forest, white noise, or that creepy heartbeat one. We've moved on to using our iPod which makes it even more portable for when we travel.

In theory it's a great idea: get your body comfortable with a set type of sound that can be turned up louder when there is street noise, sounds from the television in the next room or the mosque down the street.

But the reality of it is that now, especially when I'm in our room, the sound of rain, real rain, knocks me out quick. Last night we were listening to a podcast from our friends in Greenfield while it was raining. I was trying to pay attention. I was trying to stay awake. I was trying to focus But that patter of raindrops on the roof flipped the switch in my brain that said it was time to doze. By the time the podcast was over, I could barely keep my eyes open. So now, for the four months of the rainy season, I will be fighting my subconscious reaction to what my ears are hearing.

I guess I should be happy. I might salivate instead.